Same Differences

So you’re having another baby.

Good for you!

No seriously, good on you.  You’ve probably forgotten what a massive undertaking this really is seeing as you’re so busy keeping the first one going.  You may or may not have gone back to work yet, this might be your second, third or lord help you, your forth child but the fact of the matter is, by now you’re so used to putting yourself second (or third, or forth) that its actually super fucking easy to forget you’re pregnant.

I regularly do, now the sickness has passed (thank fuck), however getting my lard arse wedged in gaps that a mere 3 weeks earlier I fitted through with (relative) ease is a harsh awakening.  Fancying a glass of wine before remembering that’s a no no, same for all the ‘good cheese’, whoap calm down there Gesto!

As is getting up from the sofa too fast, although the juries out on whether that’s pregnancy or just being remarkably unfit for someone who spends so much time chasing their own tail.

The first time round your husband or partner treats you like the Queen.  NOTHING is too much trouble is it. Oh, you want popcorn for breakfast?  Of course darling.  The smell of my aftershave or the beer I had is making you feel sick again, let me just have a quick shower there for you, is that better?  Of course I’ll cook dinner again, you sit down over there and gestate our beautiful child, you’re a goddess, I love you.

Second time round, I personally believed it peaked when I was called ‘Tubs’ at about 12 weeks.

Since then I have been reliably informed that I am ‘not going to sleep for the whole 9 months’, along with ‘You’re not going to play the pregnancy card again are you?’ and ‘You’re just pregnant, not sick’ despite the fact I WAS actually still suffering from morning sickness and extreme fatigue at that particular point.

And yes, you’d be right in believing that it is indeed a fucking miracle my husband remains walking this earth with all his limbs attached.  For now.

So magically, even though you were probably operating on trash sleep and a questionable diet before you got pregnant, you’re now growing another human being all by yourself and apparently no one gives a shit.

‘You’ve done it before, you know the deal’ enters into the top five sayings regularly thrown your way, and ‘you knew what you were letting yourself in for’ is also a strong contender for Wank Comment of the Pregnancy.

Oh yes Sir, why this pregnancy is exactly the same as the last.  Apart from the small child we now have running around, the bigger house that despite NUMEROUS requests (read screaming rants) to the contrary, is still my responsibility to keep clean and the small fact I am working this time round.

Yes, its exactly the same.  Remind me, how many times a night do you get out of bed to settle our current child?  Myself, I’m thinking of setting up camp between the bathroom and Cs’s bedroom to cut down on the commute.

Good Ol’K the midwife came out with a classic, ‘Make sure your husband picks up the slack Tasha, you need to rest’.  Mate, my husband doesn’t even pick up his own pants, let alone any of this aforementioned ‘slack’ you speak of.

As for chipping in, I could write ‘Fucking Help Me’ in dirty laundry down the hallway and every single member of my household would step over it on their way to ask me for a snack, dinner, toast or where some random object of theirs is before they’ve even looked for it.  Tasks they are perfectly capable of performing all by themselves.

Don’t forget though ladies, ‘You’re only pregnant’ right!